Yesterday I had one of those moments – well, maybe not a moment, more like a day, more like a couple of days. It was a moment of being tired of being someone with a “history”. It was one of those sometimes-cancer-is-such-a-drag days! One of those days where what I really want to do is hide in the closet & not come out.
No, nothing is wrong – I’m still healthy. Don’t worry, Mom. – my parents read my blog, so I sometimes get calls checking up on me: you fell skiing? you haven’t been sleeping well? So, Mom & Dad, it’s all fine – just a moment – and I love you.
We all have those moments – I do, even after nearly 10 years. But I’ve discovered that living my life in my closet is not so practical – eventually, I get hungry.
As usual, I turned to exercise for a boost. Actually, I didn’t think of it as a boost. I know that exercise does lift mood, gets the endorphins flowing. But more than that, I always find it good for my head. I let my thoughts wander. I don’t think about what’s bugging me; I don’t not think about it. I just let my thoughts swirl around as my body is doing something healthy.
I ran in the woods. It was fun. It was beautiful. I had to pay close attention because all the acorns and leaves on the ground make the hills treacherous. I got sweaty and out of breath, and I have no idea what I thought about.
But it helped.